Most Tweeted Thing Ever is this photo,
posted to Twitter after President Obama won the 2012 election:
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| Four more years! |
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| by Michaelanne Petrella |
Most people, especially bleeding-liver liberals like me, get their drank on during elections. Even though I was pretty confident about the outcome, being from Northeastern Ohio makes you assume that a sportz team loss is just around any given corner, even if a victory is imminent. My friend Willie D. astutely pointed this out during Karl Rove's descent into madness over the Ohio results. We all braced for the Rove Obstruction like how people brace for an onslaught of bedbugs: Lay there terrified that every itch is a bedbug and pray for death if it is. Or, in this case, drink upon old Merlot and eat fistfuls of off-brand raisins all night.
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| Four more beers! |
Then, after hours of clenched fists and not finding any jokes funny, and shushing Jim for speaking, even during commercials, putting the cat in time-out for going near the TV plug, snorting lines of spilled vino, then murdering myself for jokingly using the word "vino" (I didn't stand for any joking or sass talking that night, even from myself), I watched Rachel Maddow announce that Obama had won Ohio, and the election. I think I started clapping and "hollering" but then, after that, I passed out from two years of stress leaving my body in a single millisecond. When Bumpa won, everyone was super happy, but also stunned that it wasn't a night of self-loathing, recounts, and Karl Rove suing people. But we weren't the only ones stunned that night.
Seems like Romney went through the Mormon version of getting drunk and sad on election night. Campaign insiders described him as being "shell-shocked" and surprised. My guess is, he probably showered 11 times in a row to get a blood pressure buzz, and Paul Ryan engaged in hate-Pilates for an hour. I think Karl Rove's innards' demon, that replaced his organs and is currently keeping him alive, started getting hungry and also sleepy.
Then, Romper's speechwriters decided they should probably get around to writing a concession speech. Since the President of the USA has to WAIT to give his victory speech until after his opponent concedes, it was slightly stupid and wude not to have written a speech in advance. Bad behavior! Poor form! Who pays your taxes! MICHAELANNE SLEEPY! Give me m'wine, Jam, I'm FINE.
Anyhoodles, instead of letting the President of the USA give his speech at a reasonable hour, the entire country had to wait to hear how Rompers is gonna pray for Obama's Muslim ways or whatever. It took them an hour to write a 5 minute speech. zzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz
Many Conservatives were surprised by the losses that night. Probably because they all live inside a White dome of White light where they reassure each other that America is still White and White is Right, and Might is Right, and Right on Red, and Red is Commie, Commies are Obama, Obama is Kenyan, Kenya is the path to Syria's waterways, etc.
I need to make this next part as large as possible so your eyes remember to read it: After the reality sunk in, and after the speech was made, Rompers sprang into action and cut off his staff's credit cards in the middle of the night, leaving some of them stranded and broke.
"Fiscally conservative," sighed one aide the next day.
The Right person won.
Post Script:
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| Me, after all the stress went from my body. (hover to activate gif, chrome users.) |
Before the stress left my body:
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